Boundaries

Saturday, Darren went fishing for the day so I decided Little Miss and I would have a fun day together. Sure, there were dishes to be done and floors to be hoovered (vacuumed) but the playground was calling! Who am I to resist!
Again, the place was jam-packed! Can someone please tell me what on earth 13-15 year old kids are doing on a playground? I mean, surely it's not the "cool thing" to do?
There is a kind of big round basket on the swings that seems to have a magical, magnetic pull on these teenagers. One will lie down on his back and the others will push him/her as high as possible. Apart from "hogging" the swings (they also sit on the swings adjacent to this basket) it freaks me the F out that these kids are so rough and inconsiderate! I mean, it's a playground, there are going to be little kids toddling around! They swing so high, that they have zero control. One of these days some poor toddler is going to get his head kicked in by one of these lugs. The idea alone makes me livid. ( Me anger issues? Surely you jest)

I do realize I sound like the old lady that would knife your ball if it was to land in her garden, and I don't mean to be. But after spending an afternoon keeping Little Miss away from an area in the playground she has every right to be in made me just a little bit angry! I think a good rule would be:
Facial Acne = No more playground access. Unless you have a smaller child to mind you just have no business there!

She was having a great time all the same though. Bright colors everywhere, a little Wendy house, Slides.
And then the unthinkable happened. She left the playground of her own accord! I was right behind her, but she opened the gate and decided we were going for a walk!
(Immediately images raced through my mind of her opening the gate and walking out without us noticing. The fence can give a bit of a false sense of security..... But, like I said in the last playground post, I intend to NEVER not notice anything again!)
We walked down a little pier and watched the waves. It was so nice! It was a sunny, warm day. She was in great form and I was just SO HAPPY!
Until we had to go....... Hell hath no fury like a Caíthlyn scorned! The tantrum she threw! If it wasn't so annoying it would have been impressive!
Like a true Drama Queen she hurled herself unto the tarmac (I checked her legs, no scrapes. Goddess only knows how she managed to remain scrape free) She cried, she screamed. She begged, she pleaded...... it was quite the show.
I did get a bit worked up about it but then I took a step back and told myself "This is that boundary-testing thing you were told about! She needs to know where her limits are." And once you look at it from the angle of "I am doing her a favor by showing her the boundaries and putting my foot down" it becomes a lot easier to deal with. Supernannie explains it really well in her book. If you were to walk in to a bank to lodge a cheque and all of a sudden you were told you were the new manager there, you would be lost! You do not have the skills to deal with this new situation and it would scare and confuse you.
Kids ACT like they know what they want, but there subconscious really want to be given safe boundaries to trust.
So, one of my new mantra's is:"It's for her own good....It's for her own good....It's for her own good....It's for her own good...."

After the playground we went to Nannie's house and Little Miss fell asleep for about three minutes on the way there. When she woke up she was in great form again! That's my daughter: The world ending one moment, sunshine all around the next!

On Sunday we went to a birthday party for Cousin (Well, it's Darren's cousin's daughter) J.'s 10th birthday party in Funtasia. Holy God(dess)!! Flashing lights, slippery floors, screaming children. Pure madness! However, I am quite sure it's pure Heaven for kids! There was a little climb and slide area for kids under 4 years of age and Little Miss and Cousin E. had a fabulous time there!
She looked so cute sitting at the party table with the big kids! I was sure she was going to be wrecked by the time we went home but not only did she not fall asleep on the way home, she also did not want to go to sleep at bed-time.

We have been sticking at this "Do not take her out of her cot at bed time when she cries thing" for weeks now but it's not really catching on! Sometimes we get lucky, but that was the case before too.
When she cries, we will leave her for about 10 minutes, console her, and leave again. If anybody has any tips on how else to go about it, please share.
However, don't say: "Just don't go in at all." Because A: The Mammy Heart can't take that B: The Daddy heart can't take that C: The child will cry for AGES! And I just don't see myself having the kind of funds that can pay for the shrinks bills when this all comes back to her in a adolescence......

Playground

Last Saturday we finally had a sunny day. And thank Heavens for that! I mean, I KNOW Ireland has a bit of a rep for being wet and all but enough is enough already! So, we decided to give Nannie a ring and ask if she and the cousins wanted to come over to check out the new and improved playground in Lovely Town.
The playground was done up in December and looks excellent!
More things for the kids, a fence surrounding the playground and safer material on the ground. It is SO great in fact that even with it being extremely frosty and windy (it's right at the sea) there were about, oh, 12 million people there? I have never seen it so busy there! So there we were, Nannie, Auntie G. Cousin M, Cousin E., Darren, Caíthlyn and myself.

Now, when I am out and about with Little Miss by myself, I watch her like a hawk. I need to have her in my sights at all times. With so many of "us" there that day though, my attention slacked a bit. Darren and I were standing next to a little playhouse that Little Miss was playing in when I turned to face Darren to talk to him. 5 Seconds later I look back at the house and SHE IS NOT THERE!!! People! My heart!
Immediatly I started looking around and saw a little stripey hat bobbing and weeving her way through the crowd of kids and parents. How she got over there so fast is beyond me! The scary thing however is that she was running towards the Big Kids Swings! Straight in to the path of a boy that was being pushed by his mam! Images of Caíthlyn being kicked halfway accross the playground flashed before my eyes.
Before I knew it I was sprinting across to her and between the boy's mother grabbing her son to try and slow him down and me making a move like you see in the movies when the hero snatches a child that is about to be hit by a bus off the road, we managed to prevent any injury.

In Vicky Iovine's "Best Friends' Guide To Toddlers" she writes that situations like these are lessons. You get one "freebie" and that's it! I am SO taking that to heart and keeping my eyes on her even if there are 20 family members around!

The kiddo's still had great fun though:








Have a great day all!

PS: Hi Stephie! *Waves*

Royalty

When asked what her name was my daughter responded with: "Pincess Caíthlyn!" (she does not pronounce the "R")

Wonder why?

December Update (Part 2)

OK, ready for part two? Here goes:

Christmas. First I should tell you that when it comes to Christmas shopping, I am organized to the point of obsession. I mean, there were spreadsheets involved people! I had all the shopping done before December and was quite pleased with myself. I should know better by now though. As soon as I think: That went well, something will come up. In this case: Additional shopping. So, the days that were meant to be lazy days leading up to Christmas, turned out to be getting-up-mad-early-to-go-shopping-with-a-toddler-in-tow-in-Christmas-consumer-frenzy-hell days! Suffice it to say that Little Miss and I found this experience to be so traumatizing that I have now resolved to have all my Christmas 2006 shopping completed by July! (of course, I jest........... sort of)

On Christmas Eve I roasted a Leg of lamb and we had Darren's Uncle J. over for dinner and a few bevvies. There was wine for me and Guinness for the lads and board games. I think people don't play enough board-games anymore! Call me cheesy (Everybody now: "CHEESY!!!!) but there's something about playing board games that we could do with more of. (Eloquent little 'Ole me just can't come up with a name for it just now)
Then we said "Hi" to Santa who dropped the truck - eh, sleigh load full of pressies under the tree and I went to bed. (Darren, being a man, left the wrapping to the very last minute, had to make myself scarce so he could get started!..... MEN! You gotta love 'em! )

Christmas Morning. Little Miss was suitably impressed with the copious amounts of gifts under the tree:" WOOOUUWWW!! LOOK!!"
Darren wielded the video camera and I got Little Miss started on the unwrapping. I love to see her all enthusiastic and happy! That glowing face and that beaming smile. You can't beat it! There was a Dora Doll, a Baby Annabel, Fifi, Peppa Pig, you name the NickJr character; we had it under our tree!

My Darling, insane, boyfriend bought me a new mobile phone, an MP 3 player and from Caíthlyn there was a DVD of that comedic God: Billy Connelly. I was spoiled rotten! I felt like my daughter, had absolutely NO idea what to play with first!
We had to be at Nannie's house early-ish so we all got showered and dressed. Now, I can't be considered a Girly girl by ANY stretch of the imagination and cringe at the idea of dressing up my daughter in anything with bows and lacy collars. Especially when Little Miss was a Baby some people would ask me if I was aware that I had a GIRL and not a boy. Nannie paid for Little Miss' Christmas dress and shoes (tradition) so we thought we'd compromise and for this once, put her in this:




And I must confess, even I thought she looked pretty darned cute! She was a little GEM Christmas day. She was the only kid there and she just entertained herself with her toys and was her usual pleasant self. We are SO blessed that way! Dinner at Nannie's was awesome as always and the atmosphere was lovely. The fact that I could drive now, meant that Darren could finally have a drink. I felt really proud of myself finally being able to do my share in than regard.
That evening, Darren was tricking around with the MP3, me with my phone and sitting there, with the Christmas tree lit up and glass of wine, I just felt so happy and lucky! (sorry, should have given a sap-warning there.....)

St. Stephen's day (The second day of Christmas. aka Boxing day) was less of a success. At Nannie's house again and I think all the excitement was just waaaaay to much for her. The cousins were there and I think Little Miss' circuits just overloaded. The day was cut short and we had to drive a screaming, crying toddler home early. She stopped about 3 minutes before we arrived at the house and spent the remainder of the evening playing happily. It's easy to forget how much information and impressions a small child has to process at times like holidays and birthdays. The peace and quiet was just what she needed.

Her BIRTHDAY! "Yo Caíthlyn! It's yo birthday, we gowna Partay like it's your Birthday!" That's what I sang when I went in to her room to get her.
In bed with us she got lots of hugsies and kisses and "Happy Birthday's!!!" She got all excited and started singing that it was her party! We had decorated the sitting room and put together her present ( A doll's Pram, highchair and cotbed) the night before.
When I brought her downstairs she marveled at the streamers and danced around in circles singing "My party! My Party!" We had covered her pram with a blanket and boy was she excited when she ripped that off! The presents from my parents and friends were also very well received!
Taking the previous day in to consideration, we decided that Darren would go over to his mam's and help set up for the party (her house is just SO much better suited for it!) and I would get little Miss bathed and ready and just take it ham and cheesy.

Now, Darren and I do not let Caíthlyn have any Sweets, Cakes, Crisps (Chips) or any other drink then water, milk or actimel (1 a day). For the simple reason that it does not do anything for her. If there were any benefits to giving her these things, we would have no problem but 'till then, she is absolutely over the moon with a bowl of grapes or a piece of cheese and get's genuine enjoyment from a cup of milk. Darren's family have been very good at respecting our decision and even though they may sometimes want to, they never give her something we wouldn't want her to have.
But for her birthday, we were asked what we were going to do. Seeing as there were going to be sweets for the other kids and she would see them eat those.
So we decided, a limited exception just for ONE DAY. We got some jelly's that have no artificial colorants, added sugar or preservatives and made up a little bowl with a few pieces she could have. Nobody was to give her any more. And you know what? She just couldn't be bothered! Yaaaaayyy!!! I was SO happy to see this:



She just had a little bite (see the teeth marks?) and decided: "No thanks!" She ate the crisps (chips) and left the rest! She had a cream birthday cake:



But after blowing out her candle (She thought the fact that everyone was singing for her was nothing short of AMAZING.... she got all giddy! But I think she was happy when it was over though too, she was asked to sing a song herself but gracefully declined, well, she said No anyway!):



She had a little taste and decided it wasn't for her. (Unlike her mommie, who visibly never says "No" to any kind of tasty!



She got a few lovely presents at her party too but there were two that were especially big hits:

I thought she was going to have a heart attack when she opened this from Uncle E. and Auntie M-C:




And the Peppa Pig house was very welcome too!




And the princess dress? Pure ecstasy:



Her party was absolutely lovely, Little Miss adores her cousins, aunts, uncles and Nannie.





There's always hugs galore and I am so happy for her that she has that. It's my biggest wish for Little Miss. That she has a happy life in which she loves and is loved. She has such a great capacity for love and is already blessed to have people really love her. It makes me so happy to see her receive so much of it.

I will leave you all on that slightly mushy note and this pictures that I just think is SO cute:



All The best!

December Update (Part 1)

Holy Mother, the idea of starting this log is very intimidating! I should really get my act together and blog more frequently! Between going to The Netherlands, Christmas and Little Miss' birthday I just did not have the gusto. Also, the few times that I DID try and leave a short post, Blogger wouldn't let me in. I took that as a sign to take it Ham and Cheesy (easy) and blog whenever the inspiration hit me! This, appearantly, is now....

First, Little Miss and mine's trip to The Netherlands. Honesty bids me to confess that I was more than a little nervous about the prospect of a plane trip with an almost 2 year old. Little Miss is an absolute Honey.... MOST of the time. When she decides she "Don't want to!!!!" not even Nanny Deb or Stella will be able to save you!

I had bought her a little Eyore backpack with a handle and wheels so she could have a case just like Mammie. I put together a mini Dora Backpack filled with Crayons, Pencils, a blank notepad a little Baby Doll and some Dora figurines. I hid this in my own backpack together with some cartons of milk and two tupperware boxes with grapes and tangerines and I was ready for action.
And what do you know? IT WORKED!! Apart from not wanting to sit on my lap at take off and landing it was just great! There was an empty seat next to us. (God bless the Gods of airtravel!)
Little Miss parked herself there and was delighted when I whipped out the entertainment back pack!
My parents were at the gate and it would seem that we were quite the sight, me pushing an empty buggy and pulling my big purple suitcase and Caíthlyn walking next to me pulling her little purple case ("MY Case!!" is what she called it)
She fell asleep on the 2 hour trip to Leeuwarden and consequently would not sleep that evening. Darren had jokingly said that I would be up at 01.00 hrs when he heard she had slept in the car...... Does he not know by now that the Gods are always listening?? Little Miss stopped crying at about 01.04 hrs.....
She had been in great form right up untill bed-time though. My mam was breaking a sweat 5 minutes after us emerging from the gates from running after Little Miss!
It was lovely to see Little Miss lift up her hand to take my Mam's. There was zero shy-ness and it was like she had seen them a hundred times before. (Of course, there were the few "I don't want to" -moments but that's a pleasure we ALL get. )
Once we arrived at the house, she was dancing and running around. It was like the kid was on Happy Pills!
After the first rough night, she was in great form again for the next day and we had quite the busy day.
Shopping for clothes in the AM (The Netherlands have a bit more choice in size "Is-that-a-woman-or-a-jet-carrier" than Ireland does), but not finding anything for me and ending up with a new outfit for Little Miss instead. Visiting my friend A. in the first half of the afternoon and my friends R. and her mom G. in the second half. A. lives in an adorable little farm house that she is slowly restoring to it's former glory and is very happy there with her 9 (I think) cats. She gave Caíthlyn a Care Bears DVD (which turned out to be a life saver! Every time Little Miss got narcky, we popped on the DVD and she would chill out and recharge the batteries while following Sunshine Bear's adventures in Joke-a-Lot.)
It was so very nice to see A. again and I can't wait for her and her new man to come over to visit us again. She loves Ireland and she hasn't been over here in WAAAAAY to long!
Seeing R. and G. again was great too. G. has a very nice home on a river. I have spent many a happy day/evening in that house and always have a lovely time when I re-visit. It's almost like a little time-warp to my teenage years. (Do you realize 1995, the year I met R. , was ELEVEN years ago?? I'm only sayin'........ )
R. was absolutely AMAZING with Little Miss. They took to each other immediatly. R. did allot of Ballet as a child and she and Little Miss were doing all kinds of Ballet-ish things in the sitting room. SO CUTE to see Little Miss trying to copy R. When the dancing was over, G. pulled out the Duplo. They were so involved with her. Giving her tangerines and having her on their laps. You could tell they really enjoyed having her there. It's moments like that that I wish it could work for us in The Netherlands....... But, I also realize that it's all extra special now because it's a holiday and that "real life" would be very different. Ireland is the best place for our family. Caíthlyn is very happy here. And to be honest, I don't miss LIFE in The Netherlands at all. It's the people, the friends that I can get a bit homesick about. Being able to drop by for a cuppa or take the kids to the petting zoo, or something as incredibly mundaine as that.

My parents really enjoyed our stay as well. Little Miss is so interactive now, she will chat to you. Take your hand to go for a walk, dance in a way that's SO CUTE it generates collective "AAwwwww's"
My dad took apart a ballpoint pen. And Little Miss helped him put it back together again. My dad would hand her the piece and tell here where to put it. And if something didn't work, or would fall out, her little mind just took that information and started working on how to correct it. My little problem solver!
My mam also got her colouring books and supplies and between that and the PC. (You haven't séén excitement until you've seen Little Miss' reaction to seeing "The Wiggles" pop up on a PC monitor: "LOOK MAMMIE!! THE WIGGLES!!!!!!" Absolutely hysterical! ) she was well entertained.
It must have been so nice for them to walk in to the room and get a beaming :"Hi Pake (grandad)!!" Or "Hi Beppe (grandma)!!" She most definitly still remembered them from when they were over to see us and I think that helped. If my mam would go for a smoke outside and Caíthlyn would cop she was out of the room she would ask "Where Beppe Go?" Or shout "Bepppeeee, where ARRRRREEE you?" Every time we went somewhere in the car she would say: " Beppe's Car!"
Even after we were back in Ireland she mentioned "Beppe's House" My dad had her in fits of laughter. Those fantastic belly laughs that only small children can produce.


Just glanced at what I wrote and realized I am giving Tolstoi a run for his money (in quantity, not quality, would'nt dream of comparing myself in that way)
Therefore, I shall give you a breather and continue this later.

Have a great one!

Love Always, Nynke

PS: Quick hello to my (semi-) silent readers!: Ciao Claudia!!
Hej Helene!!
Hallo Rixt!!