Little Miss Manners

Little Miss Manners,

I have always said that if I ever had children, I would make darn sure that they would be well mannered! It's nice to be nice and good manners don't cost a penny. And I believe that you are never to young to learn! Sure, saying "Thank You" to a 5 month old when you take something from their hands may seem like a silly thing to do. Of course, the little Angel is not going to reply with: "You're welcome mother, may I please have it back when you are finished with it?"
BUT, I am telling you: It Pays Off People! The combined efforts of Daddy, Nanny and myself have resulted in my 18.5 month old daughter and us having interactions as follows:

Us: "Caíthlyn, would you like a piece of banana Sweetheart?"
Caíthlyn: "Yes Cheese" (To the trained ear that's: "Yes Please"

Or:

Us: "Caíthlyn, would you like a Liga?"
Caíthlyn: "No Ta"

Also, when she takes something from your hand, she says :"Ta Ta" (Our Kiddie version of "Thank You")

In Dutch there is a saying that states that a good beginning if half the job done. I feel like we are definitely on the right track here.

In moving to Ireland I have not run in to that many cultural differences. However, when it comes to manners there are quite a few. In the Netherlands, it is customary to introduce yourself when you enter a room with strangers. I have spent many a birthday party going through a circle of people going: "My name is Nynke, nice to meet you". You then get their names and Bob's your uncle. Also, we congratulate the immediate relatives of the birthday Girl/Boy on the birthday of their Father/Mother/Son/Daughter.
I did these things on an Irish birthday ONCE..... and never again... The looks of :"That Nynke? A nice girl and all but a bit loopy!" were quite enough to make my cheeks turn rosey!
In Ireland you introduce people to each other. As the host, you take care of the introductions, or, if you are with someone who know the people there, they will.
Oh, the possibilities of social Faux Pas's!
So, the (rather ambitious) aim is to teach Little Miss the social rules of both countries.

Man! This whole parenting thing is tough! Just keeping the child safe and healthy is not enough.... One must discipline and give them the social skills to manage in society.

Now, the disciplining! Neither Darren nor I believe in Smacking. Educational or otherwise. I won't say that it has never happened. Once, Caíthlyn had positioned herself in a very dangerous situation and I got such a fright that I shouted "Caíthlyn NO!" And slapped her hand. But as a rule: Slapping = Not Done.

She is getting to an age now however, where some form of discipline has to be upheld. In general she is an exceptionally good girl but she does have her moments!
The Slaps (from her end) still make a periodic appearance and also, throwing things. Teddy's, toy-bricks, you name it and it has had a flying lesson in our living room. So too, my phone last night. I was trying to take it off her and in a rage she flung it to the ground. I was not impressed. Not. Impressed. At. All.
So, I take a firm grip of my daughter and sit her down on the ground. I tell her in a stern voice that was a very bold thing to do and that she is to stay where she
is... Queue the sobs. I mean Niagara Falls were reproduced right there on our living room floor! My heart broke but I HAD to stay firm for this to be of any effect.
When about 1.5 minutes had passed I picked her up off the floor but she was inconsolable. I think the combination of not getting what she wanted and being disciplined really shocked her. I tried to comfort her but Daddy had to eventually come to the rescue. (He was not trying to be the "Good Guy" and make me the "Bad Guy" it was just the only thing that would calm her down again)
I had a big knot in my stomach and even ended up with nightmares that night. (It was very hot in our room last night which didn't help!) Caíthlyn and I had kisses and cuddles again last night so she is not holding a grudge.
I know that this is all for her own good. That she needs rules and boundaries to become a happy, healthy and balanced person. And that there will be allot more, and heavier occurrences like this one. It's just that I wish I could skip the "Tough Love" and just be like the Huxtables or something and solve all with a moralistic, funny tale and a group hug......